She'll Let You in Her Heart

Why are their no more good romantic movies? All I have are stupid stoner movies and comedies about women wanting other peoples babies! Or action movies with Asians that aren't dubbed. Even Atonement wasn't the best substitute for a romantic movie like The Notebook, or like Sense & Sensibility or even Little Women (which okay isn't exactly a romance movie and neither is the book, but come on it makes me cry). So instead of using the stupid free passes we got at work, I went to Blockbuster and RENTED DVD's. I rented The Notebook, and Enchanted (which I haven't seen yet, but it's ridiculously sappy and had to try it out) and Becoming Jane (which is about Jane Austen one of my favorite authors. I have no idea how factual it is, but the movie was well done.)

I love going to the movies alone. No one bothers me or whispers in my ears. I can zone out everyone around me and immerse myself in the story I'm watching. That is, assuming, of course, that the movie is good enough to hold my attention. I fear my dad stopped taking me to the movies a long time ago because I would get extremely fidgety if the movie didn't hold my attention. And apparently nothing is worse than a very bored, fidgety 12 year old in a movie theater.

While at the video store, I broke down and bought movie theater popcorn. To microwave. In the tub. It's very weird how the sensation to buy it just washed over me and I was completely compelled. I don't even like popcorn all that much.

I've never really fit in here. In Los Angeles. To be honest, I hate Los Angeles. I have had to come visit here every summer until I was 14, when I started to simply refused to go. It's not that I didn't want to see my dad, I didn't want to go to L.A. It's smoggy. It's weird. It's full of the most beautiful and shallow people in the world. Santa Monica also has more homeless than anywhere on earth, I think. And I just don't fit in. I'm not beautiful, I don't think I'm shallow, and even though it may feel like it sometimes, I am not technically homeless.

I mean, that may be why my mother, Stella, took me to live in Cavendish, a small town in Vermont, when I was just a little girl. I don't think she fit in either. We had the choice of living in a small town in Washington, or in LA, and my mother HATED both of them. She hated Washington because it was far too small and rained far too much. She hated L.A. because it was far to pretentious and she didn't think it was a healthy place to raise a child. Which is kind of funny, since I've been kind of taking care of her since I was about 11. I'm the one who makes sure her checkbook is balanced, I do the grocery shopping, makes sure she has gas in her car, picks up the dry cleaning…you get my drift.

But since my mother met Richard Mason, well, all that has changed a little bit. Right after she married Rich, I decided to move myself to LA to be with my dad, Jonathan. Or as the people of Santa Monica know him, Chief Dwyer. He's the Chief of Police for a small division of Santa Monica PD.

Well, I came out here midway into my junior year of high school and that was all well and good. It was easy for me to just meld into the back ground of Santa Monica high. I had been so used to the small town school where my entire high school was smaller than just my senior class here!

Still because my dad is the Police Chief, I got noticed far more than I would have liked. I didn't mind blending into the back ground and just doing my own thing.

You would think then, with all the time I tried to spend to myself, that I would have done better in school. Especially since my first year in high school here was a breeze as we'd covered almost everything in my old high school. So, I guess, I ended up slacking off more than I should have. But the real reason is well, I'm extremely accident prone. You may laugh now, but when you see me just walk out of the door and trip on m y own feet, smashing into you won't think it's so funny.

In my desire to spend some time alone, I started going to the beach a lot, even though it's excessively overcast these days. Not at all like the beach of my early childhood summers. Well, one day I decided to start exploring some tide pools in the rocky shores near the Santa Monica Pier. Well, some crack ribs and a broken leg later, I ended up with some not so hot grades my senior year.

So here I am attending Santa Monica College in the hopes that I will do well enough to go to a larger university, like USC or UCLA and figure out what it is I really want to do with my life. Because right now? I haven't got a clue.


~Callie Dwyer